i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
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You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
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Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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