I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
