I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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