So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Randomize
