just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
