i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
