I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
