I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
