After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
