I think my fart just growled at me.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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