i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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