He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Randomize
