I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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