to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Acid is not a monday night drug
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Found the puke drawer
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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