i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
sex in a hospital.. check
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
