I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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