He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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