I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
