there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
