This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Randomize
