Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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