I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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