He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
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