make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
