Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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