Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
