Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
