smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
home. puking in laundry basket.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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