So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
