$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
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