if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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