Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
