We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
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Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
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They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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