all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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