dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
