I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
