Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
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