About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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