2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
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The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
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As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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