can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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