3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
i barfeds in our rink
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
