My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
