do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
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I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
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How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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