I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
i need to put some appletini on your dick
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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