You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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