you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
