So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
