I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
