Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
