We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
