I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
