Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
