Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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