she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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