No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
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Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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