nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
