your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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