i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
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I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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