i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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