I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
