i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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