Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
